Ode to Persistence

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You may just need more time for the results of your efforts to start manifesting. So, when is persistence worth it and when should you just go home and eat ice cream? You first need to identify whether you are experiencing temporary setbacks or if there is a fatal flaw in your goal.

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Management Tip: Express Appreciation

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Do you want your staff to work harder? To be more creative?  To like you more? Try this super simple and immensely effective management tool.  Each day, for the next two weeks, look for two actions or qualities to acknowledge and appreciate about your staff.  Is the receptionist extremely polite and helpful to clients?  Did John write a particularly good brief last week?  Tell them so.  This will create a palpable difference in the work environment, and ultimately, in staff performance.  The importance of positive feedback is even reinforced by recent neurological research.  Studies have shown that for people to learn and grow, the optimal amount of positive versus negative feedback is five to one.  Imagine how pleasant and productive work would be if people actually followed that ratio!

Turkish Weddings

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Recently, I was walking by a wedding “center” with a friend and we saw big crowds of people outside.  She suggested that we go in, watch a wedding and see if we can get some candy.  This seemed odd to me, but I’m generally up for anything, so in we went.  It turns out that this is the Turkish equivalent to getting married at a courthouse, except that couple brings along three or four hundred friends and family, and the whole thing is even less romantic.  A loudspeaker announced the couples’ names and told everyone to file into the auditorium.  It also said that once you have “celebrated” with the couple that you should leave as soon as possible to make room for others.

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The Problem with New Year's Resolutions

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Why don’t most people’s New Year’s resolutions lead to lasting change? The underlying message in most of our New Year’s resolutions is that there is something wrong and we better fix it or else….   We are bombarded with the message that we should be better – not just that we could be happier or more effective if we chose to make a change – but that we must be better or else we are inferior, inadequate, and bad.  How much time and energy do you spend fighting yourself and/or the universe?

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Nosy Neighbors and Safe Streets

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One of the first things I noticed about Istanbul was that it felt surprisingly safe. As a tourist, I felt fine walking back to my hotel at 2:00 in the morning. There were always people on the street and though it was often groups of men, somehow it didn’t feel threatening. Some might be leering but others had a more protective demeanor. If groups of men are hanging out on the street in America I would think they are up to no good, but here its generally groups of taxi drivers waiting for business or men sitting around drinking tea.

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How to Design a Powerful Project

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The following are ten steps to create an effective plan. Whether you are trying to lose weight, write that novel, or increase revenue, one simple way to help yourself achieve the intention quickly is to write out a project plan. The following are ten steps to create an effective plan.

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Do I Really Look Turkish?

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American friends often comment, “You must really stand out in Istanbul.”  Actually, I don’t.  When I came here as a tourist, everyone spoke to me in English and I assumed that it was obvious from my appearance that I am foreign.  Once I started living here and knew my way around, that changed.  As long as I don’t do anything too blatantly foreign, like carry a backpack, wear sandals or walk around with wet hair, people assume that I am a local.  Turks approach me all the time and ask me for directions, try to hand me political pamphlets or make off-handed comments about the rude person in front of us in line. It turns out that I look Turkish, or at least can pass as Turkish.

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Islam and Alcohol

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Although Turkey is a Muslim country, the national drink is alcoholic.  It's called raki and is licorice-flavored.  From what I have seen, pretty much everyone here drinks alcohol.  This may not be true in the countryside or in the more religious areas of cities, but at least in Istanbul there does not appear to be any sort of stigma against it.  In fact, one friend of mine worked at a university which was so committed to being secular that at staff parties the dean would walk around checking people's glasses to ensure that everyone was drinking alcohol.

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Will Turkey Explode Too?

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I have been getting messages from people concerned about my safety, given the protests and violence in Egypt, Tunisia, etc.  So this seems like a good time to explain why Turkey is different. Turkish democracy is not perfect but it is a real democracy - unlike those other places which have been living under dictatorships.  Conservatives are in power, which does cause concern among liberals within Turkey and observers from outside the country.  (Arguably, this is not so different from the Bush years in the U.S.)

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Turkish Speaking Santa?

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On Christmas Eve, I was amused to see a Santa Claus speaking Turkish. But then I learned that St Nick was born in Turkey.  Who knew?  Also, apparently most Turks don’t know the difference between Christmas and New Years.  (Of course, people who are well-educated or have traveled a lot will know, but the average person does not.) If you tell a friend that you can’t go out because its Christmas Eve, he may look confused and respond that New Years isn’t for another week.  Contributing additional complexity is the fact that most Christians in Turkey are either Armenian or Eastern Orthodox and thus celebrate Christmas on the 6th and 7th, respectively.  At first I was surprised at how many places I have seen Christmas trees, but here they are considered New Years trees.  People also exchange gifts on New Years.  A traditional gift is red underwear, for luck in one’s love life for the following year.

Who Wants to be a Vegetable?

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I haven’t written anything for a while because my father passed away. As a society, we don’t talk about death very much and I didn’t have a clue how to deal with it. I even googled “grieving for a parent” at one point. Now, I have some observations about death and grieving that I thought some might find useful either personally or when supporting others going through the process. Periodically we see in the news a situation where someone is in a coma and relatives are fighting over whether or not to remove life support. 

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Tips on Language for Answering the Question: “Why Did You Leave Your Last Job?”

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I wrote this up for a workshop I led on Transforming Negative Career Experiences, and I thought others might be interested as well.

1)    Say something positive about the boss, job, company, etc.

• I have a lot of respect for my former boss.  She is very hard working, and incredibly knowledgeable.  But we just weren’t a good fit and I realized that I could be a greater contribution somewhere else.

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